The Idris Boys
by Blue eyed fantasies
Summary: Alec is admitted to the Idris Institute for clinical depression two weeks after his mother finds him lying in broken glass and blood on the floor. There he starts the long, gruelling road to recovery. Along the way he meets the enigmatic Magnus. Together, maybe they can they confront the demons of their pasts and help each other find happiness and sanity.
1. Goodbyes

**A new idea...**

**I do not own The Mortal Instruments or any of the characters, Cassie does. **

* * *

_"I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then." _

― Lewis Carroll, _Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

"Seventeenth birthdays are so average, y'know? It's like not a sweet sixteen but then it's not an eighteenth. Just...in b'tween. Nothing exciting ever ever happens when you're seventeen. Like, last year I saw an el...an elphan...Ele...ele...elephant running around naked from the s-subway with a zebra on its back and an umbrella stuck in its..."

Alec nodded blankly as Jace, who was currently inebriated as hell, prattled on about how he had once seen an elephant on a subway. He decided not to point out that elephants generally tended to be naked; Jace would realise his stupidity in the morning. At least his brother wasn't with some nameless stranger doing something that both would regret in the morning and possibly nine months after that. As for the elephants... Alec guessed that his brother was either confusing real life with the film Madagascar (which actually had no elephants), he'd been on some weird shit when walking from the subway. Or even he'd been on some weird shit whilst watching Madagascar. Alec was leaning towards the latter.

They sat with their backs propped up against the bar. Somehow, Jace had managed to convince his parents that letting them all run wild in the city without a curfew for Jace's seventeenth would be a good idea. Alec had no idea how he'd done it.

Now he'd ended up, on the night before he was due to leave for an undeterminable amount of time, looking after Jace and keeping him away from further poisoning. He had the feeling that just the smell of whiskey would result in his brother having his stomach pumped, leaving Alec to spend his final night in A&E. Bars were just slightly preferable - slightly happier company - so he'd put his big brother hat on. It was actually a rather mundane night for them.

Simon had taken a suspiciously giggly Isabelle and Clary home, not that Jace had noticed, leaving Alec rather stranded. His head pounded, colliding and clashing with the thumping bass of the music blasting through the speaker behind him. He wanted nothing more than to drown the pain in alcohol but that would probably result in both of them waking up in a different country altogether: Alec was a bad lightweight, as he'd learned all too well.

Suddenly, Jace burst into spontaneous tears. Alec blinked. Of all of the times he'd been forced by his inner sense of moral obligation to look after his irresponsible little brother, this had never happened. "Sorry," he said, flicking his head dramatically. "It's j-just that n-nothing's gonna be the same now!" he wailed. "No-one'll t-trek into the kitchen to get me pop tarts when Izzy's conc-o-cting..."

The last word was broken with a small hiccup that left Jace a little startled, his eyes wide as if he couldn't believe his body could produce a noise like that. Alec stifled a laugh but sobered up a little when Jace placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You're my...my lighthouse Alec. And who else is gonna be m-my wingman when I wan-want t' p-ick up chicks. Who's gonna guide me through...through the st-ormy seas of life? Why Alec? Why d'ya have to go whyyyyy?"

And they're sending _Alec_ to rehab.

Sometimes, these siblings he calls people make him feel microscopically sane. Which made it all the worse that they're sending him away to the asylum. Actually, what was it his parents had called it? A life fulfilment centre or some shit like that.

_"Somewhere where you'll feel safe, where they can take care of you in the way you need." _

A nice way of saying: you're sad all the time and it's bringing us down so we're sending you to loonyville for a while.

Alec tilted his eyes up to the heavens that he no longer believed in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. He cut off Jace's hiccup wracked whining quickly. "First of all, I've never been your wingman. Ever. So, I have no clue where you're getting that idea from. I would rather have a full conversation with Izzy's incredibly dull boyfriend Simon about the merits of Worlds of Warcraft versus Halo than help you 'pick up chicks'. Secondly, you have Clary so you shouldn't even be _thinking_ about other girls."

He fixed his brother with a stern glare . Jace sheepishly lowered his head.

"You take care of her, you hear me." Jace nodded enthusiastically, reminding Alec of a little puppy dog. "And finally, Jace there are no fucking stormy seas of life. There's just life and it sucks and then you die and that sucks even more."

Jace narrowed his eyes. "You got that quote from Fifty Shades of Grey."

"Twilight, and it's a paraphrasing but whatever." Alec rolled his eyes. He couldn't really blame his brother: they were both nationally successful crap, and he supposed only Jace could find it easy to confuse vampires and BDSM. "Jace, I'm not your 'lighthouse'. I'm your fucked up brother who is being shipped off to a loony bin."

This unleashed another tidal wave of tears. Alec groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Jesus Jace, you can't do this when I'm gone. Stay away from alcohol. I don't want to have to peel a puddle of vomit and Axe aftershave off the sidewalk when I return."

Jace scoffed. "En contrariere, my friend. I use Lynx and this is just one time."

"Of many," Alec muttered. It was masked by the loud beat of the music.

"What?"

"Nothing." He smiled sweetly before, on a more serious note, he said. "I'm going to miss you too Jace. You know I'd rather stay." Jace offered a watery smile and a few tears, now no longer a product of vodka, sprung from his eyes. He gave Alec a rare hug, clinging just a little too long.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok? The people there...they're crazy. They might try to attack you with the plastic forks they've been hiding in their pillows or, or...worse. They could try to kill you. Dark shit happens in these places Al."

Alec offered a bitter smile as he brushed off his jeans and stood up, offering a hand to help his brother up. "I'll fit right in then," he said.

* * *

_"Alec honey, are you going to get up? You'll miss school," his mother's voice drifted through the lacquered wood of his firmly locked door._

_"Alec? Come on it's been over a month now. You'll have missed so much work. Everyone will be wondering where you are." _

_No they won't, thought Alec. no-one cares._

_"Alec, _please_ come out." _

_He merely rolled over, pulling his covers in a tighter cocoon around his head. The muffled voices persisted._

_"...knew it was a bad idea to get him that lock." _

_"...do we do?" _

_"...options." _

_"...give him more time. It's been difficult for him since..." _

_"...isn't something you just get over. It's genetic...needs help..."_

_ "Just leave him be for now."_

_The voices of his concerned parents fled further away down the corridor. Alec tossed and turned, waiting for the brief respite of oblivion before the nightmares invade._

* * *

"I love you Alec."

A pause.

Then, "You too Izzy."

His sister smiled weakly up at him as she wrapped her arms around him. "I'll miss cooking for you."

Alec snorted. "I won't."

His sister's smile grew wider, as he knew it would. "I'll miss hearing your snarky comments. I'll miss fighting you for the shower. I won't know what to _do_ with all the hot water. I'll miss you talking about things that no-one really cares about anymore, like the Cold War. And things that you find important like butterflies. I hope you find a garden with butterflies when you're gone Alec." She sniffed. "Oh and of _course_ I'll miss your protective brother charm."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Nah, it's gone into hibernation recently due to the fourteen year old mouse you're apparently dating."

"Simon's..." Izzy began.

Alec decided to end his teasing. "Perfect. For you." He sucked in a breath. "I'll miss you too Izzy. It's going to be really hard."

"It will be. But it won't be as hard as not seeing you smile everyday." He was pretty sure both of them were crying by how, still mumbling their words into each other's coats. Alec could hear the mechanical purr of the car coming to take him to the Idris Facility behind him.

He finally released his sister.

"Call me," she whispered.

He nodded before turning to face the car. It was indiscreet: black with no markings. For some reason, he was surprised. Maybe in the back of his mind he'd always imagined a van with bars in the windows, a straight jacket on the seat and smiley faces in the windows. No actually, that was exactly what he'd imagined.

The door slid open revealing a cream leather interior. Somehow, it was the scariest sight ever. He shouldered his backpack and climbed inside. The driver nodded to him and shut the door.

Alec closed his eyes and took 4 breaths before he turned to look outside.

His sister was standing there, alone on the driveway in her bunny rabbit slippers and tiny silk dressing gown, hair in disarray and a hand clutched to her mouth. His strong, proud sister had never looked so small.

Alec waved and waved until he realised that the windows were tinted.

She couldn't see him.

It was only then that it truly hit him that he was leaving. And he didn't know when he'd be back.

* * *

_"Alec, we need to get you to a doctor." _

_His mother stood at the doorway, her black hair half cascading out of the tight bun it was usually maintained in and her dressing gown gaping open. Her usually pale cheeks were red with panic. She was trembling in the doorway, unsure as to whether approach her son or not. _

_Alec didn't say anything. He merely lay there amongst the broken shards of glass and heart and blood, allowing it all to blend together until it was glass-and-heart-and-blood and then finally glassandbloodandheart, a big blurry mess of feeling. _

_Bloodandglassandgeartbloodandglassandheaftandblood andglassandheart. _

_"Oh God you're bleeding. Robert! He's bleeding." _

_No shit. Understatement of the century mom. _

_He didn't even know how it had happened. One minute he was looking at his reflection, at the new glasses he'd got that looked so like Max's and yet didn't suit is face at all. Max was meant to be wearing them, not him. Max was supposed to be standing there. This mess wouldn't have happened to Max. It wouldn't have happened to anyone but Alec. Stupid, worthless, ugly Alec who can't even buy glasses without crying at how pathetic his life had become. _

_"Robert! Will you get in here this moment! Our son is bleeding everywhere!" _

_The next minute he was lying amongst the broken glass, wondering why his blood felt so warm when inside he felt so lifeless and cold, like a fish. If he were to be dropped into the sea, would he swim? Or would he drown to death? _

_His mother was kneeling next to him. Huh. When did that happen? She brushed the glass out of his hair and off his clothes. "My baby," she cooed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even realise. Oh God, I'm a terrible mother. I'm sorry. We'll fix you. We'll make you better again." _

_She held him to his chests whispering sorry, sorry, sorry again and again into Alec's cold cheek. _

_Why is she sorry? wondered Alec. She's not the one lying in a broken mirror because she didn't like what she saw there. She's not the fucked up one. _

_Finally, Alec mustered up the strength to speak. "Sorry I got blood on the carpet mom." _

_She let out a sob and crushed him tighter to her chest. _

_"Robert!" She screamed._

* * *

"Hello...Alexander Lightwood, welcome to Idris." A tall man stood in front of him wearing what was presumably once a smart suit. He had a kind face, well creased like someone's favourite book with bright blue eyes squinting behind slightly smeared glasses, the kind that made the world just a little bit foggy all the time.

Alec wondered why he didn't just clean them. It would save him squinting all the time.

He held a clipboard in one hand. _At least he's not wearing a white coat_, Alec thought wryly.

"It's Alec," he said. "Just Alec."

The man nodded a little absentmindedly. "If you'll follow me Alex."

"Alec."

"Alec, sorry," he apologised, shaking his head. "I'm Hodge by the way. I forgot to introduce myself earlier. Well, 37 seconds ago." He made an irritated noise in the back of his throat. "It's been so very hectic lately. All the rooms are now full, with your addition. In fact, you'll have to share. I hope that's ok. Well, it had better be. If you'll follow me this way." Alec wondered briefly if spending time with mad people eventually drove you to madness yourself.

Hodge walked briskly, long legs striding impatiently ahead. Alec tried to keep up. The corridors were narrow, painted in a light grey colour just a few shades from white, and seemed to spawn into another 3 every few doors. There were a lot of doors. A lot of crazy people. that shouldn't have comforted him as much as it did. Each door had a black number and two names. No lock on the handle, Alec couldn't help but notice.

It was only when they arrived at what was presumably his door that Alec realised the information Hodge had been mentioning for the duration of the journey was probably important.

"Breakfast is at 8:30, lunch at 12:30 and dinner at 5:30." Evidently not important then. But, Alec realised, if he was going to get out of here as soon as possible that would involve the act of getting better. Recovery. He grimaced. Food. happiness. Immersing himself back into social activities. It all sounded so exhausting.

If there was anything worse than depression, it was dredging yourself back out of it.

"Lights out is 10:00 but you are expected to be back at your room by 9:30. Of course, all of this is also included in the booklet in your room. Should you need anything, just use the phone situated on the desk."

"Does that include room service?" Alec quirked an eyebrow. Hodge didn't smile.

"Your roommate should be back soon." And then he did smile. "Good luck Mr Lightwood. Happy recovery." Alec wondered if he was intentionally being ironic.


	2. Down The Rabbit Hole

_"Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin; but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!"_

_- _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

* * *

Alec blinked at the white door in front of him. It was fairly innocuous, a black number 14 painted precisely in the middle. Underneath it were two sets of names:

**M. Bane **

**A. Lightwood. **

For some reason, having his name in little black print there felt like the final nail in the coffin for Alec. He sighed, seeing the weeks and months ahead of him disintegrate into captivity. He would be here for a while.

He tentatively unlocked and opened the door, hoping that this 'M. Bane' person wasn't a complete psycho who wanted everything in the room to be numbered or only allowing the colour yellow. Then again, Alec wouldn't be surprised with his luck.

The room was small, basic with two single beds wedged on either side of the walls, a desk, a bookshelf with only one or two shelves filled, two chests of drawers and two night stands. The quilt and blanket on the bed on the right was a bright canary yellow, the other a nondescript navy blue. Alec moved to put his bag on the plain bed.

He gazed around the bland room in distaste and sighed. Despite the bold bed linen choice, the rest of the room was rather devoid of belongings. There weren't any photos or books on the night stand, just a small purple tooth brush and a pot of red nail varnish. In the corner of the room there was a cork notice board with what looked like children's drawings on them of green woods and teapots and paper covered in handwriting.

_Letters from home, _Alec guessed._ Or someone who thinks he's _five_. _

Alec walked over to the book shelf to add a few of his own books, his eyes briefly scanning over the spines of the books already residing there.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking-Glass, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Alec's eyes widened. 12 copies, each one different, of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and 5 different copies of Through the Looking-Glass. A prickling sense of unease ran down Alec's back. Suddenly the room seemed stifling. He crossed over to the window, hoping to get a little fresh air.

Metal bars blocked his way.

_Well, that's one way to make me feel even more like an invalid,_ he thought. Then, shaking his head, he dumped his now empty bag back on the bed and left the room.

* * *

_Alec eyed the bleak exterior of the grey bricked house in front of him. It blended in very well with the other houses in the surrounding housing estate. Big grey building, heavy looking oak door before a long, sweeping drive unravelled before it like one of the most unwelcoming welcome carpets in the world._

_It was only when you got closer to see the subtle differences that you realised a place like this did not fit in with the rather innocuous housing estate at all. For example, the trees: great big sweeping oaks, bushy evergreens and the more slender and lithe willow trees were there to form a rather dense forest-like barricade around the house, effectively shielding most of it other than the front from view. This meant that the barbed wire was not discovered by prying eyes. And the White House worthy solid steel gate - not to keep the world in but to keep its occupants out of the world - was probably thought to be due to paranoia. One can never be too careful in the Evergreen Housing Estate._

_As Alec walked up the path, he thought how clever the disguise was. He doubted many of the neighbours even knew the true purpose of the building. They probably presumed it was just some people who liked to keep themselves private._

_A gold plaque was situated next to the door, with a buzzer below it._

_The Idris Institution for rehabilitation of unstable youths. Alec scoffed. Caring since 1923._

_We scare because we care would be more fitting, he thought._

_"Go on sweetie. Aren't you going to ring the buzzer?" his mother asked, gently nudging his shoulder. She'd met him here, as apparently it was against protocol for her to travel in the Institute's car. Robert Lightwood was currently in Milan...or was it Japan? Somewhere in Asia perhaps._

_Alec bit his lip and traced lightly with his finger to where the word 'unstable' was neatly engraved._

_Blue eyes identical to his flashed with worry and for one brief, glorious moment, Alec believed that his mother might not send him here, that she would say "no, let's go home." And take him far, far away back to Jace and Izzy in her car._

_"Don't worry about that," she said. "It's only for a few months. Until you get better."_

_Or more likely that was wishful thinking on Alec part._

_She turned to face him, fussing with the drawstring on his hoodie. She'd always sorted his collar when he was younger before he went to school. Now, she seemed at a loss at what to do. He had no collar and this was most certainly not school._

_Maryse sighed. "You won't get any better at home honey. This is one of our only options. We simply can't provide you with what you need and here you'll meet lots of people like you and you can all help each other get better."_

_Just what I need, thought Alec bitterly. More crazy like me._

_His mother's mouth wobbled. "Dr Blackthorn says that this is the best option for you."_

_"Yeah, right before you signed his big fat pay cheque by sending me here,"Alec retorted moodily._

_"He has a child here too Alec. I don't think he would send her somewhere he doesn't believe in." Alec personally thought that a psychiatrist who couldn't help his own flesh and blood was not really to be trusted with the fate of his own but he didn't say anything more. Maryse's tone had a defensive, almost vulnerable quality to it which he'd never witnessed before and he didn't want to upset her further._

_Taking a deep breath he said, "Well, bye then."_

_His mother was blinking very fast. "I love you," she whispered and Alec tried to hide his surprise. Separation seemed to bring out a previously unseen affectionate side of his mother._

_"You too," he mumbled back, stiffly patting her back as she sucked him into a tight hug._

_"Call me everyday."_

_"I can't," he said._

_She looked up at him. "Oh, that's right," she said with a small smile. "Only once a week." Alec nodded. "Well, I'm, uh, sure that you'll want to save that for your brother and sister." Her eyes avoided his._

_Alec bit his lip. "I'll get them to pass on the phone to you."_

_Maryse smiled and kissed his cheek. Alec tried not to squirm at the waxy rub of her lipstick and the gentle prick of tears._

_"Bye mum," he whispered before he pressed the buzzer._

_"Name?" A tinny voice came through the speaker._

_"Alexander Lightwood." The door opened and Maryse offered her son a watery smile before the door closed behind him with a heavy thud._

_And down, down, down the rabbit hole Alec went._

* * *

Alec was lost. He'd thought he'd been keeping a good track of the windy corridors, noting some feature of each one, like a different kind of flower in the plastic vase or a crack near the radiator but now he was lost in a sea of grey windy walls and endless black letters printed on wood.

He blinked away tears. _Stupid. Stupid, crying over getting **lost** of all things._ _What do you expect? You're new here._

He was just considering calling for help when suddenly he caught a flash of stripes in the corner of his vision.

There was a person, the first one he'd ever seen here other than Hodge, in a little alcove. He was perched on a stool like a bird, eyes narrowed and lips pursed in thought as if he was watching over his area, guarding it.

Alec blinked. "Um, hi," he said, quickly brushing his eyes to rid any straggling tears.

The boy sitting on the stool tilted his head as if in acknowledgment before a wide grin spread across his face. He said nothing.

"I-I think I'm a bit lost," Alec continued. "Could you show me which way to go?"

"That depends." The boy spoke.

Alec furrowed his eyebrows. "On what?"

"On which way you want to go," the boy replied, standing. He was a little taller than Alec, dressed in what seemed to be a stripy purple and pink onesie with a little tail attached at the back.

Alec took a few steps away from him. "Home," he muttered. "I want to go home."

"And where's that?" the stranger asked.

"Not here for sure. I don't..." Alec sighed. "I don't belong here with all of you people."

"You must do, or why would you be here?"

"I don't know," Alec snapped irritably. "But I'm not...I'm not mad like...well, like you. No offence or anything but you're wearing cat ears."

If anything, the boy's grin grew wider at the inadvertent insult. "Indeed I am," he acknowledged, reaching up to tweak them affectionately. Then he shrugged indifferently. "I'm mad, you're mad. We're all mad here. Might as well acknowledge it."

Alec bit his lip nervously. His hands were sweating and he was thoroughly disconcerted by the way the boy's eyes seemed to swirl in big, hypnotic black circles. Surely that wasn't his imagination making it up? Before he could ask, the boy had turned to go down the corridor.

"Wait!" Alec called. "You didn't tell me where to go." Despite how nervous the cat boy made him feel, being alone seemed the worse of the two evils.

The boy rolled his swirly eyes. That, along with the grin permanently etched onto his face, created an odd combination. "In _that_ direction,'' he said, waving his right hand around, ''lives our dear William - the hatter without a hat: and in _that_ direction,'' waving the other hand, ''lives Aline - the March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.''

Alec's eyes widened. Suddenly, everything the boy said made an awful lot of ironic sense. He thought of all of those Alice in Wonderland books back in his room and then looked back at the hypnotic eyes and cat costume. "Wait," he said. "You're not M. Bane are you?"

"God no," the boy scoffed. "Why would I want to be _him_? He's dreadfully boring. Doesn't even acknowledge the rest of us living here half the time. And he's just as mad as the rest of us. Mad and not even interesting, honestly. No, I'm Cheshire." He held out a hand with well manicured but rather long looking metallic nails. Like a cat's claws, Alec thought before he gingerly shook it.

"Alec," he replied.

Cheshire's eyes twinkled. "I've always wanted an Alice," he whispered. And then he left, so suddenly and quickly it was as if he'd disappeared into thin air.

Alec was left alone in the grey corridor, mouth wide. A hand snaked down to his arm to pinch himself. _I must be dreaming. I must be dreaming. This can't be real. I must be dreaming. _

"Did you say Alec or Alice?" Cheshire suddenly appeared behind him at his shoulder, making Alec jump.

"Alec," he gasped. "It's Alec."

Cheshire looked thoughtful for a moment. "I thought you did. Oh well, I much prefer Alice."

Then he was gone. Again.

Alec blinked. He would have to read one of those Alice in Wonderland's it would seem, so that he could keep up with the antics of Cheshire.

* * *

"Are you lost?" Not again, thought Alec with an internal groan. He'd been walking for another ten minutes and still hadn't found any sign of anything other than this bleak desert of grey corridors. And despite all of his walking he'd not seen a single other person up until now. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He whirled around to where the voice came from. A small blonde haired girl, probably no older than fourteen, was standing in front of him. She had flowery, ripped jeans and a purple unicorn top that seemed to be covered in some mysterious red substance.

Alec subconsciously took a step back. "Yes," he said. "I _am_ lost."

The girl nodded. "It's curfew in ten minutes, you know. I'll take you back to your room. What number is it?"

"24," Alec replied after a moment.

The girl paused and a slow smile formed on her lips. "You're rooming with Magnus," she said.

M. Bane. Magnus Bane. _Is that really his real name?_ Wondered Alec. _Magnus Bane - as in great annoyance. _

"I suppose so," he said, seeing the girl stifle a giggle in her hand he asked "why, is that a...bad thing or...?"

The girl shook her head, little blonde curls dancing around her neck. "Oh no, Magnus is perfectly fine, the epitome of sanity. It's the others you've got to watch out for." She cackled and Alec thought that maybe he should be watching out for _her_. "You've bagged yourself a good roommate there Mr..."

"Alec Lightwood." Against his better judgement, he stuck out a hand.

"Maureen Browns," she replied with a sweet smile. "We usually say what we're in for upon introduction here," she said with a polite cough. It took Alec a few seconds to understand what she meant. Then his eyes widened in realisation. _What are you in for? _Like in a prison. Except instead of crimes it's mental disorders. _Aren't they the same thing in everyone else's eyes though? _A bitter voice hissed in the back of his mind.

"Alright, um depression." Alec shuffled on his feet.

Maureen started to walk, not even bothering to look back and see if he was following. "Aw, you're sad all the time?" she asked with a pout.

"Well, not..." Alec stumbled to catch up with her, disliking the way the fourteen year old was treating him like _he_ was the child.

"I'm in for cannibalism," Maureen butted in with a wicked grin. Alec looked back at what looked like a blood stain on her shirt and his eyes widened with horror. He immediately stopped walking.

Another fit of giggles erupted from the girl's mouth. "I just have a...a desire to...rip apart human flesh...suck their bright red blood." She was now on the ground, tears springing from her eyes as her body rocked with laughter.

Alec narrowed his eyes. "You were joking," he said, rolling his eyes.

Maureen nodded, the laughter beginning to subside a little now. "You should have seen your _face_!" She made an exaggerated surprised look on her own face. Then, smacking her leg, she got up, gasping "priceless."

Alec was a little pissed off at this point. He rubbed his eyes and considered just ditching Maureen and carrying on solo. "Aww don't cry wittle Awec." The girl suddenly linked her small arm with his, having to stretch a little to do so, and tugged him down the corridor. "It was only a joke," she said.

"What's _that_ then?" he asked, indicating the dull red stain on her shirt.

"Tommy had a little accident." She lowered her head, a somber expression on her face. "Fell down the stairs this morning." She pouted, reached a finger down, wiping some of the sticky red and licking it with exaggerating slurping noises. "RIP Tommy."

She held up a scarlet finger to Alec. "Try some. It's B negative."

Alec flinched and she laughed cruelly again. "God, you are just too easy. Relax, I just got a little crazy with the ketchup at lunch today. "

Alec sighed and shook his head. "So what are you in for?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from blood and gore.

Maureen smiled a little. "That was a lie as well. We're not supposed to tell each other," her voice lowered to a stage whisper, her eyes fake darting around nervously.

Alec groaned. He was beginning to find himself in the awful situation where he preferred the company of a boy who believes he's a fictional cat to this annoying little girl.

"Impulsive liar," she declared suddenly.

"Really?" Alec asked skeptically.

"No." She tried to hide a smile whilst Alec rolled his eyes and extracted his arm from hers.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Maureen said in a sing-song voice "here it is." Alec's head whipped up and, sure enough, there were the two names.

**M. Bane **

**A. Lightwood **

Alec felt the sudden need to ask Maureen: "Why is Magnus here?" He wanted to know if his roommate was as crazy as the other two people he'd met today because, if he was, Alec wasn't sure how he'd deal with that for another few months. She'd said Magnus was the 'epitome of sanity' but by her standards that didn't say an awful lot.

"Schizophrenia." Maureen nodded seriously, then a smile appeared. "No, he's actually bipolar."

She turned to walk down the corridor. "Or maybe he's anorexic," she shouted back at Alec before walking a few steps. "Anxiety-disorder, kleptomaniac, druggie, alcoholic, bulimic, ADHD, agoraphobia, PTSD." She called them out in a chant, waving she arms like she was doing some sort of twisted cheerleading routine.

Alec sighed and leaned against his door. _Note to self: never rely on the compulsive liar for crucial information._

* * *

**So, as you can see, there will be some OCs in this and a strong Alice in Wonderland theme. The majority of Cheshire's lines were taken from Lewis Carroll's 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', that's just me disclaimer-ing. Tell me if you liked it or not. :)**


	3. Grey

_"How puzzling all these changes are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another." _

― Lewis Carroll, _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_

* * *

When Alec finally fell asleep that night, he had read several chapters of Alice in Wonderland. He was perhaps halfway through chapter five: Advice From a Caterpillar when his eyes began to droop.

_"At least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'' _

Alec's eyes lazily skimmed the words several times until the little black marks started to blur together into one big smudge across the page. He finally decided to give up and turn out the light, leaving only the faint glow of the alarm clock on his bedside table. 11:37 the green numbers declared in their obnoxiously green way.

1 hour and 37 minutes after the enforced 'lights out'.

And yet, the canary bed on the opposite side to his remained empty. Alec was pretty sure he'd seen a faint sheen of dust on it earlier, settled like freshly fallen snow. The room felt too still and quiet around him. Alec suddenly wished that he knew where his roommate was. It didn't seem like he'd be meeting Magnus for a while though if the dust was anything to go by.

He fell into an uneasy sleep. Somehow, he ended up wandering through the windy corridors of the institute. But like all dreams, something was not quite right. Above him, the grey sky stretched endlessly, leaking dust like tears around him whilst two stripy eyes beamed down on him as powerful as the sun.

* * *

Alec didn't remember the rest of the dream but he woke up sweating and gasping...and late, it seemed. 8:47. He brushed away the uneasy cloud of dreams that still clung to his skin and quickly got dressed.

Breakfast was strangely...ordinary. At first.

That is, it was filled with the usual unease and lack of knowledge that accompanied any unfamiliar place. Alec was unsurprised by the slight twisting of dread in his stomach. Maybe he should have just skipped breakfast.

He didn't know where to sit.

Granted, there wasn't much of a choice. The 'dining hall' consisted of rectangular wooden tables lined up in rows in a decent sized, grey hall. Each table was adorned, in a very Hogwarts-esque manner, with an array of breakfast foods. Most of the places were already filled with residents slightly bleary eyed with sleep and chatting quietly. Quite a few looked up when he entered the room. There was a smattering of whispers, soft as a breeze but there.

Alec hated being the newbie. Really hated it.

Blushing, he lowered his head and desperately searched for someone who didn't look too menacing to sit next to. It was then that he caught sight of a stripy blue and orange tail.

Cheshire.

The boy (cat? Cat boy? Confused fictional character?) suddenly looked up, a grin already forming on his face as their eyes met. Alec couldn't help the shiver of unease when he saw the black spirals. _Does he wear contacts? He must do_, Alec thought. He was wearing, Alec noted, a different all in one cat suit to yesterday. Essentially, it was the same concept - tail and ears - but this one was stripy blue and orange.

Alec felt an odd sense of relief, immediately walking towards him. He sat in one of the two vacant seats beside him.

"Good morning," he greeted vaguely to the general table, despite not knowing any of them other than Cheshire.

"What's so good about it?" A voice drawled from across the table.

Alec shrugged and blushed a little. "It's just something polite to say," he muttered, meeting the blue eyes opposite him. The boy looked surprisingly similar to him - black hair, blue eyes, pale skin although his features were harsher and he was a little broader.

"Who are _youuuu_?" A slightly higher but still distinctly male voice asked. He had silver eyes, Alec realised with a start.

He didn't have very long to gawk though because already another girl with sharp, pointy features, deep emerald eyes and a shock of black hair snapped, "It isn't very polite to sit at the table without being invited."

"Will, Jem, Aline don't be so rude." A girl with light brown hair scolded the three of them before she took a bite of her toast. She rolled her eyes. "Sorry about them. I'm Tessa Grey."

"Alec," he mumbled before he looked down at the table in front of him, glad to see that at least something was remotely normal. Suddenly, he was starving and he lunged for the toast. The girl with brown hair looked a little startled, her grey eyes wide.

_Fitting_, Alec thought.

"What?"

He hadn't realised he'd actually said it out loud. "Oh, it just, um, suits your eyes. Grey..." he trailed off. The girl blinked.

"Tea?" The boy who looked like Alec - Will, he guessed, offered brightly.

A little startled at the abrupt change in mood, Alec nodded. "Y-yes please."

Will reached across and snatched a teacup sitting in front of a girl who was slumped on her arms, eyes closed. He offered it to Alec who looked at the sleeping girl beside Will dubiously.

"It's ok," Will said. "You can have it. Alice won't drink it."

"Alice?" Alec asked, taking a tentative sip of tea. It was cold and much too sugary.

He promptly set the cup back down.

"Yes," Cheshire said beside him. "There's already an Alice but the dormouse is a different kind of Alice to you, Alice."

The girl in question looked up suddenly, blinking blearily and rubbing the small dot of drool from her chin. As she let her head rest back on the table, mousy brown hair spreading in disarray around her, Alec realised why Cheshire had named her the Dormouse.

"Alice?" The whole table suddenly asked in unison making Alec jump.

"Alec," he corrected, not liking the way everyone was now looking at him with such intensity.

"Alice," Cheshire retorted firmly from beside him. "He's our new Alice."

The boy Alec presumed to be Will rolled his eyes. "Not _this_ again," he groaned. "You've already got Jem here hooked on this Wonderland crap, Chesh and the rest of us endure it out of fear of those lethal blades you call nails. Do we really need _another_ to join the melee of crazy?"

Cheshire narrowed his eyes and dug said nails slightly into the wood of the table. He didn't say anything but resumed sipping his tea from the elaborate cup in his hand.

Tessa looked a little worried for a bit but then declared brightly. "I do believe it's a free day today."

"You mean as free as the bloody gate," Will muttered from beside her.

"Well yes, there's that."

Alec must have looked confused because she turned her attention back to him and said. "It means we get to do whatever we want. Play games, watch TV, draw, write..."

No-one seemed to be that enthusiastic about the idea.

"Why is a raven like a writing-desk?" Cheshire suddenly piped up.

"That's not your line," Jem muttered with a frown. They all ignored him.

"So, I guess you've all read Alice in Wonderland," Alec said to break the silence that suddenly cloaked them.

Will tilted his head to the ceiling. "We have to," he said, his voice seeping with exhaustion.

"I started reading a few chapters last night. It seems that Magnus, my roommate has quite a few copies so I'm sure he won't mind." They were all silent, looking at him. "I haven't seen him. Like, ever and it's weird because his bed is covered with dust," he said. When they said nothing, he continued. "He's supposed to be my roommate. Magnus Bane, don't you know him?"

Alec could feel their eyes on him, could sense that he probably shouldn't be mentioning Magnus and yet he couldn't stop himself. He had to know who Magnus Bane was. Tessa's mouth was forming a little pink 'o' shape. She quickly took a sip of her tea.

"Who do you..." Will began. Jem was frowning, as were most.

Tessa quickly butted in in a rather flustered manner. "Cheshire...doesn't like Magnus. He doesn't like us bringing him up." The boy next to him was scowling, his grin diminished a little as he reached towards the middle of the table, pouring more tea from the big teapot. Alec thought back to his conversation with Cheshire yesterday.

_Doesn't even acknowledge the rest of us living here half the time. _

It occurred to him that maybe by 'us' he had meant the rest of the people on this table. They clearly didn't really like Magnus at all and he'd just stuck his foot in it by bringing him up. _Way to go Alec,_ he thought. _And shit, they're all looking at me now_.

"So," he said, turning to Cheshire. "I give up. Why is a raven like a writing-desk?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." The whole section of the table replied in unison.

"God, why are our lives so dull?" The dormouse groaned before plonking her head back on table. Judging by the drool pooling on the table, Alec guessed that she was sleeping again.

Cheshire's grin grew even more mischievous. ...

* * *

"So where is Magnus?" asked Alec later on. He was walking with Tessa around the little allotted area of land behind the Institute. She had a traditional silver and blue pinstriped Victorian dress on, complete with matching umbrella which he found to be very odd.

Then again, one day and he'd already stopped questioning things about halfway through breakfast.

Tessa's eyes darted around nervously. "I don't know," she finally said with a sigh.

"You don't know," Alec repeated flatly. He was a little disappointed. At breakfast, he'd received the impression that she knew more about the elusive Magnus Bane by the way her eyes twinkled with secrets and how she'd quickly cut Will off. Now, they looked at him, kind and open.

"No, I don't," she said softly, trailing a hand along the petals of a rose bush they were passing. "No-one does."

"You have _met_ Magnus haven't you?" Alec askeil warily.

Tessa nodded earnestly. Alec must have looked confused because she started to explain.

"Magnus," she began. She sighed and began to wind a loose strand of hair around her finger. "Magnus isn't like the rest of us," she eventually said, all in a rush like a gust if wind. "He's different," she added softly.

Alec frowned. So far he'd been getting very mixed reports about him. Boring, hated, a good roommate, sane, different. Which one was true?

"In some ways he's better, healthier than all of us. Completely normal and in others he's much worse."

"I don't understand what you..."

Tessa made an irritated noise in the back of her throat. "He doesn't...acknowledge that he needs help. Instead, when things he bad, he hides. Sometimes for days or even weeks at a time. He's very good at hiding."

Alec nodded, but at the same time wondered how someone with bright canary bed sheets could be so good at hiding.

Tessa looked at the sky for a moment. "Today marks the longest period he's ever disappeared for." She was still running her finger lightly over the leaves and flowers lining the path they walked along.

Alec felt a pang of worry in his chest. He immediately felt rather ridiculous. It was stupid and dangerous worrying for someone he'd never even met. What was so special about this Magnus Bane that had him so fixated? he wondered. _The illusion_, a voice in his head filled in.

"Surely it can't be that difficult to find him," Alec remarked before slowing his pace down slightly.

Tessa looked at him, something unreadable hidden like clouds against the sky of her eyes. Then she looked at the great big building that sprawled on the lawn behind him.

"It's a big place," she said. "Easy to get lost in. Especially for those who so desire to." She raised her eyebrows. "Magnus has been here longer than any of us. Since he was 11 or 12 I think. Yet he'll be the last of us to leave. If we ever do," she added bitterly.

Alec thought back to yesterday, wandering around helplessly through endless stretches of grey and white like a nomad traipsing the foggy moors.

_Are you lost? _

_Yes. I am lost. But it's all I've ever known. _

A voice from above broke into his thoughts. "How are you getting on?"

They both jumped in surprise before tilting their heads upwards. There sat Cheshire, languorously reclining in the tree up ahead.

"Cheshire!" Tessa exclaimed. "I didn't see you up there."

"Of course you didn't," Cheshire replied as if explaining something to little children. "I'm in a tree and you're on the ground. Unless you have a strong desire to constantly be searching for cats in trees I would presume you are unlikely to see me. Which is why, you see, I chose this spot. Think of the state of your necks if you looked up all the time."

Cheshire laughed and seemed to contemplate it for a moment. "Do you go to the rec. room with the Queen today?" he asked in a peculiar manner that gave the impression that he wouldn't care if Alec or Tessa did but at the same time he would be rather delighted if they said yes.

"I would like that," Alec answered, looking over at Tessa who nodded. "But I haven't been invited." Tessa frowned at him. "I know how important you all take invitations," he tagged on.

Cheshire shrugged, grinned and said, "you'll see me there," before he dropped out of the tree and out of sight.

"He really needs to stop doing that," muttered Alec as they both stared at the place where Cheshire's grin once was.

Tessa laughed and linked her arm with his. "You'll get used to it."

"That's the worrying thing," Alec replied. "I think I already am."

They made their way over to the rec. room like Cheshire had said, quietly talking about safe topics. He realised that Tessa didn't have the slightest clue as to what was going on in the real world at the moment and decided to fill her in. Little, trivial things like random celebrity's lives seemed to fascinate her and Alec wished he had a wider knowledge, that he was one of those religious magazine readers.

"How long have you been here?" he asked eventually.

Tessa bit her lip, considering for a moment. "Maybe a year," she offered. "Two? I have no idea." The arm around his suddenly squeezed tighter.

Alec wondered what was so wrong with Tessa that she had to stay here for years. She seemed perfectly normal, excluding the full Victorian dress. And then he had the terrifying thought: what if it happened to him?

"This place," Tessa whispered as she looked up at the building in front of her. "It seeps the life out of you. Why do you think they painted it so _grey_? Everything," she said, her eyes so big and wide they seemed to dominate her face with grey. And Alec suddenly realised why she was so weird at breakfast about him mentioning her eyes. "Grey. Everything is grey. Even my _name_."

She swallowed. "I didn't use to be Tessa Gray before. Outside I was...but that's the problem you see, I can't...I can't remember what my name used to be. I can only remember ever being Tessa Gray."

She turned to Alec, her voice suddenly dead and lifeless. "Soon, you lose everything: no semblance of time, place, sanity, identity." Tears were forming in her grey eyes. "I don't know who I am anymore, Alec. None of us do."

Abruptly detaching her arm from his, Tessa muttered. "I'm awfully sorry but you shall have to excuse me," before she ran into the very building that was tearing her apart.

A little bit of the hope that he'd been carrying inside of him died then as Alec looked up at the prison disguised as a saviour and wondered when he would lose everything that makes him Alec and become... Alice.

He didn't look back out at the garden where he knew a set of hypnotic eyes would be watching him.

* * *

**Review? :)**


	4. The Queen's Croquet-Ground

_"Off with their heads!"_

_- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland_

* * *

"Cheshire, it's far too cold to play croquet. Don't be ridiculous. How about we play...wii golf instead. That's pretty close. Practically the same game."

A girl, probably no older than 19 stood in the centre of the room, dressed in a short white summer dress with red hearts on it. At her neck was an enormous ruby pendant which Alec wasn't entirely sure was real or not.

It almost looked as though it were throbbing like a heart.

Cheshire shook his head sulkily.

She placed her hands on her slender hips, flicking her blonde hair imperiously. Then she said, her voice dripping with disgust, "_Cats_ can't even _play_ croquet so I don't know what you're sulking about." She sniffed. "Let's play cards," she said decisively, her eyes lighting up in delight.

A groan of annoyance echoed throughout the room. "Silence!" She called. "Or it'll be off with all of your heads!"

Cheshire ducked his head and shifted into an excluded corner.

"Camille _really_ gets into the whole Alice in Wonderland theme," a voice whispered in his ear and Alec looked up to see Will rolling his eyes.

"Places!" Camille ordered and the occupants of the room began to scurry about, fetching chairs and a table. The boy Alec thought to be Jem shifted a rug, revealing a loose floorboard and plucked what looked like a very worn pack of playing cards from inside. Alec guessed that cards were banned. _Can't have the crazies gambling._

Alec watched as a cards table began to assemble before his very eyes in the middle of a draughty hall. The games room was rather uninspiring: a large hall filled with piles of broken or ancient toys, a worn table tennis court or two and some L-shaped couches cutting off a section where an old TV sat hunched in the corner of the room. Alec wasn't sure if it was in colour or not. He was actually very surprised to hear that they had a Wii. All in all, it was a far cry from "first class, top of the range facilities that are modern but homely" as it had boasted in the glossy leaflet.

He supposed though, that a bit of gloss could do wonders.

He turned back to Will. "And who," he asked, nodding his head at Camille who remained poised in the centre of the room as everyone chaotically followed her orders around her. "Is she meant to be?"

"Why the Queen of Hearts of course," he scoffed, patting Alec's head patronisingly before he moved to sit at the table.

"Are you not playing Alice?" Jem asked, tilting his head.

Alec paused uncertainly for a moment. "Oh, alright then," he said and sat down next to Will. "What are we playing?"

The Queen reached into the centre of the table where the pack of cards rested in its box and immediately upended it onto the table sending cards flurrying everywhere. "Pick them up," she ordered and a few players ducked underneath the table to pick up the cards. Meanwhile, she sifted her long fingers through the cards, her green eyes darting eagerly across them. She seemed to be looking for something.

"The Queen only plays with hearts," Will supplied helpfully.

Alec nodded. And sure enough, she collected a full set of hearts before her. Alec thought this must be a huge tactical error as they now knew all of her cards but he decided not to say anything.

"What are we playing?" he asked again as Jem began to deal the remaining cards.

"I'm not really sure," the boy answered with a dazed smile. "Whatever you want it to be."

"But then we'll all be playing entirely different games to each other, " Alec remarked.

Will's eyes lit up. "Yes, it should be interesting shouldn't it?"

Alec sighed. He looked down at his hand. All black, all spades. What a bizarre deal. When he looked up, everyone had already placed their cards in the centre of the table in a sporadic order or maybe even all at once. The Queen began to collect the cards.

"Wait! I haven't placed my card yet," Alec protested. He looked at the table where the highest card was the jack of hearts. He placed his queen of spades down triumphantly. The Queen barely acknowledged his card before she continued to gather them towards her.

"Wait, I think you'll find that I..."

"The Queen always wins," Will hissed in his ear.

"But I..."

"Lost. Highest card loses in this case." Alec wanted to protest this strange logic.

"We never specified what game we were playing," Will said before he placed a 4 of diamonds on the table.

Alec put a three of spades down next followed by Jem's six. The Queen then proceeded to flick two cards on the table - a ten and a nine. "You can't put two cards down on the table at once." It darted out of Alec's lips before he had a chance to stop it.

The Queen raised an imperious eyebrow. She then proceeded to place another card down.

"Off," another, "with," and yet again, "your," a nine of hearts, "head." She looked down at the splash of red before her, like blood gleaming against the worn wood of the table. "Oh, look at that, I win again." She flashed a wicked smile in Alec's direction as she cleared away the cards.

"How are you getting on?" A voice whispered in his ear. Cheshire. His head looked strangely disjointed from his body as he craned his neck around to see Alec.

"They don't play fairly," Alec muttered back. He knew he sounded like a petulant child but if this was the way card games were going to go he wasn't sure if he wanted to play any more and God knows it might be one of the only distractions in this place.

Cheshire nodded. "How do you like the Queen?" he asked, a strange earnest nature to his voice.

"Not at all," Alec retorted. "She's so extremely—'' Just then Alec noticed that the Queen and all of the players at the table were looking in their direction, listening: so he hastily said ''—likely to win. She's clearly a much superior card player. It's hardly worthwhile finishing the game.''

The Queen smiled and quietly placed the Queen of Hearts on the table. "Queen of Hearts beats all," she said. "Game over. I win," she declared it in a sing-song voice Before immediately scraping her chair back from the table to leave the room, two of the players who Alec guessed were her evil minions following on her heels.

Alec leaned back in his chair. "Well, that was a rather odd game of cards."

Will shrugged. "You angered the Queen. She doesn't like other people's rules. So it was actually rather short and dull."

"Well maybe we can have a proper game of cards," Alec proposed. "With the real rules. My mother taught me to play gin rummy and Black Maria when I was younger." Jem seemed to perk up at that, picking his head up off the table where it was resting. Alec grabbed the deck of cards and began shuffling them.

"Do you want to play Cheshire?" When he got no reply, he turned around. "Cheshire? I asked if you wanted to..."

Alec didn't complete that sentence.

Cheshire was staring into a random space, his eyes, with their black spirals and luminescent power, now seemed dead and vacant, as if he wasn't really there at all. What most struck Alec as odd though, was the missing grin. He didn't think he'd ever seen Cheshire without a grin. It was probably one of the most frightening things Alec had ever seen.

"Cheshire?" he asked in a quiet voice. The boy didn't even look in his direction. Indeed, Alec didn't even know if he'd heard him at all.

It was as if he was dead on the inside.

Will and Jem were suddenly on either side of the boy. _When had they left their seats? _Alec wondered dazedly. They each grabbed one of Cheshire's limp arms.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Alec asked worriedly, also rising out of his chair. He didn't know why he was so worried but he'd grown strangely fond of Cheshire's Alice in Wonderland quirks.

Will nodded seriously. "He'll be fine," he said in a voice rather the opposite of reassuring.

"Will he..." Alec began as he followed them out of the rec. room. They were dragging him and Alec thought how undignified Cheshire would probably find the exit, not to his liking at all. But how did he know? He didn't really know this boy did he? He'd known him, what? 24 hours? Maybe not even that.

"Alec," Will snapped. "Cheshire is going to be fine," he said slowly. "We just have to," he grunted with the effort of dragging Cheshire's long body, "take him to Hodge."

"Do you need any help? I can help carry him," Alec offered quickly.

Jem looked up at him before he said, not unkindly, "just go back to the others, Alice. Cheshire would want you to do that. He likes you, you know. That's saying a lot because he doesn't normally take well to strangers."

Alec felt flattered, despite the situation. He didn't move.

"You can't help Cheshire by just standing there," Jem said and for the first time a hint of impatience seeped into his tone. "Please Alec, just go."

He saw Hodge up ahead at the end of the corridor, looking resigned and older than ever. He mumbled something but Alec only caught the word "which" and another beginnings with an a? Very confusing.

Alec watched them dragging the lifeless body away. Cheshire's eyes were still open. he didn't blink. Didn't twitch or protest. Alec wouldn't be surprised to find he wasn't breathing.

The image of vacant eyes was encrusted on the back of his eyelids for a long time, even when the heavy wooden doors had firmly sealed and Alec was left alone.

* * *

As Alec trudged back to his room since he saw no point in remaining in an empty games room, he heard a slightly familiar voice that crawled like fingernails up his spine of chalkboard.

"You know, I find it quite funny that you haven't worked it out yet."

Alec frowned and turned to face where Maureen was looking up at him. "Worked what out?" he asked, already irritated by the little girl. She had such an annoying ability of crawling under skin, seeping into every crack and crevice like a poison.

"Where Magnus is," she answered simply.

"You heard my conversation with Tessa." How else could she know he was looking for him? No, not looking. Just wondering.

"Of course I did." She let out a peal of laughter. "Alice dear, I hear everything. Especially everything that happens in Wonderland."

"Who are you?" he asked sharply.

He felt a surge of pride; this was the first time that Maureen looked honest to God confused by something he'd said. "Whatever do you mean?" Her eyes were wide suddenly and she took a step forward, calculating. She gave the impression of one who is always calculating. Calculating, calculating, calculating. Even if no-one else sees anything to be calculated.

"What character are you from Alice in Wonderland? You called me Alice."

A look of disdain crinkled her nose which she lofted into the air. "I don't play silly child games." She sniffed. "I am a character of my own mind, not someone else's. No, Alice, sweet, silly little Alice, you have it all wrong. You see, there are two types of madness. There is the kind for the weak and frivolous: where you get lost in a world that is not your own, lost in the corridors and streets of someone else's mind, controlled by unknown voices until you have to become someone else entirely just to be able to live with the roaring and rotting in your own brain.

"Then there is the beautiful kind. Madness, in its purest form. The kind of madness that is your own creation." Her eyes shone. "I live in no other world than my own. It may be warped but it's mine. I don't need anyone else's words like they do. And I am always myself. Independent. I suppose that's what you could call me. Clever that way, don't you think?"

"I think it's all just madness," Alec said bluntly before he turned on his heel and began to walk away.

"I predict that Magnus will turn up in 2 days time." Maureen suddenly said. "He doesn't like Cheshire. They try to avoid each other as much as possible and Cheshire's going to be...out of action for a while." She giggled to herself.

"And you are basing this prediction on what exactly?" Disbelief coloured his voice.

"The past." Maureen's smile, like two rows of tiny razors, gleamed in the low lighting of the hall. Alec began to walk faster.

Don't trust the compulsive liar. Don't trust her. Ignore the little hitch in your breath. Magnus Bane is a nuisance and a mystery but not a friend or anything more. You've never even met the guy.

Still the questions he was powerless to stop inevitably invaded his mind.

_Where does he go? Why does it feel like everyone's hiding some big secret from me? __Will he always come back? _The unspoken words were bitter on his tongue, a tang of resolution. He needed to know.

But when he turned around, Maureen was gone.

* * *

**Review? :)**


End file.
